For Alyosha

[john_ofdarkness]

Shhhh, anti-OTP weekend isn't over until we say it is.

When Alyosha gets back to the room that he shares, he'll find John still in bed, sheets wrapped around him like a cocoon. He's awake--but he can't be bothered to move from his nest more than necessary, only raising his eyes a little and grinning at the entrance. "Hello, duck. Almost late for your prayers."

Comments

[john-ofdarkness.livejournal.com]

"So it's someone you trust--perhaps even someone you love, hm?" Griiiiiin. "Or someone who you think loves you, which I suppose amounts to the same thing."

[tinylittleonion.livejournal.com]

"It is someone I trust -- but it would have to be someone I trusted. Did you suspect that it wasn't?"

[john-ofdarkness.livejournal.com]

He shrugs. "You're not really capable of distrusting, so I suppose I'm not capable of suspecting it."

[tinylittleonion.livejournal.com]

"You make me sound naive," with a smile, though.

[john-ofdarkness.livejournal.com]

"You are naive. It's endearing." And for that, he'll have to give Alyosha a kiss. "What was it, then? Amateur fumbling, or something more sophisticated?"

[tinylittleonion.livejournal.com]

Then Alyosha will have to snuggle him unabashedly -- even if the question does make him color and duck his head, almost from habit. "I didn't know there was a hierarchy," he laughs.

[john-ofdarkness.livejournal.com]

"I can't be blamed for your ignorance--I gave you the mechanics, and left the cultural particulars in your care."

[tinylittleonion.livejournal.com]

"I can't be expected to know from that ... ! But I am very grateful, for what you did teach me."

[john-ofdarkness.livejournal.com]

Neutrally, "Sounds as though you put it to good use."

[tinylittleonion.livejournal.com]

"What, I haven't put it to good use with you?"

[john-ofdarkness.livejournal.com]

"Did I say that?" He rests his cheek on Alyosha's hair. "Did I say anything that sounded like that?"

[tinylittleonion.livejournal.com]

"You haven't," smiling gently, fondly, "but you've been very patient with me, when I most needed patience -- I mean that."

[john-ofdarkness.livejournal.com]

"It's your first affair. I almost feel like we should be commemorating it, so that you can reminisce later."

[tinylittleonion.livejournal.com]

"Is it an affair? I used to think people had affairs out of unhappiness, and I'm very happy with you ... but I suppose it needn't be that way. It's not a secret affair, and who says it can't be out of a kind of open-heartedness, if people can love each other and be generous in loving, without trying to keep love to themselves ... you are being generous."

[john-ofdarkness.livejournal.com]

"And planning to find another young man for myself. Don't forget that part." He lies back down, trusting that Alyosha will join him.

[tinylittleonion.livejournal.com]

"But a young man who makes you happy. I still won't approve of anyone unless he makes you happy -- and you would think I was being a hypocrite." He laughs, and curls close with him, resting on his chest.

[john-ofdarkness.livejournal.com]

"So long as he's gorgeous, and not obnoxiously talkative, I'll be very happy."

[tinylittleonion.livejournal.com]

Laughing, "Are those your only standards?"

[john-ofdarkness.livejournal.com]

"For a casual fuck, yes." John grins, meeting his eyes. "What's he like--your secret lover?"

[tinylittleonion.livejournal.com]

"He's not a secret -- it's only that he's very private, and considers this a private matter ... and perhaps I didn't want to betray anything he'd confided in me, or I would have told you earlier. But I don't want to keep secrets from you. I'll tell you -- I love him a great deal. We've known each other a while, without really being close ... but we have an affinity for each other, I think, because we disagree on many things; we both have qualities that the other one lacks. So we are always trying to understand one another."

[john-ofdarkness.livejournal.com]

"So this has been going on for some time."

[tinylittleonion.livejournal.com]

"It hasn't always been the same thing -- perhaps because we don't always understand each other the same way. And last night was the first time, that we've ever ... ever shared a bed together." Slightblush.

[john-ofdarkness.livejournal.com]

"But you'd thought about it before." Kissing his ear, "While you were with me?"

[tinylittleonion.livejournal.com]

He shivers -- yet smiles, as though at a memory. "I only think of you while I'm with you."

[john-ofdarkness.livejournal.com]

"Full marks for etiquette, duck. Suppose I'll have to keep you." He pushes Alyosha off of him lightly--not a harsh push, but only enough to free himself--and then sets about washing his face and brushing his teeth and shaving his chin.